Frog Legs
by Selenity Jade
Summary: In Progress. Written by a primarily BV Romance Writer! Captain Ginyu was living peacefully in his pond until two hyper children stumbled upon him, effectively bringing about Vejiita's attention, and his revenge.


Frog Legs  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Dragonball Z. I am borrowing Goku, Vejiita, Buruma, Chichi, etc. from Akira Toriyama without permission, and it would be appreciated if I wasn't sued for it.   
  
By: Selenity Jade (Jadesama@aol.com)  
Thanks: Well, this hasn't been beta'd, but I want to thank Mia and Wanda for their wonderful praise and support when I first wrote this. And to those of you on 0-DBZ-Fanfiction and BVFanfics who were kind enough to tell me what they thought when I gave you a taste. Thanks a bunch.  
  
Chapter One: The Beginning  
Rating: PG13  
  
The birds were singing, the sun was shining, and children's laughter filled the summer air. The trees were full and leafy, the grass greener than it had any right to be, and the small pond was warm from the noon sunlight beating down on it. Two butterflies fluttered and played among the flowers, and a pair of squirrels happily chattered at each other as they scrambled up a large oak tree.  
  
It was enough to make a certain odd-looking little frog ill.  
  
How the hell the people living on this pathetic planet stood all this disgusting… peace, the small frog would never know. It was simply too damn *boring*! Everything was so perfect and quiet it was positively nauseating.  
  
He, himself, had once been the highest-ranking warrior under the great Furiza! He had been the captain of Furiza's secret warriors, which had been known as the Ginyu Force. It had even been *named* after him! No one could match his strength, speed, cunning, or – most importantly – his style. Only Furiza had been more powerful than he. He had been Captain Ginyu, one of the most feared names in Furiza's entire army, and now…  
  
He was nothing more than a tiny amphibian.  
  
It angered him. Every moment of every day, it pissed him off. Whenever he thought of how he was stuck *forever* in this little, filthy, slimy body, he became enraged to an almost exploding madness.   
  
He couldn't *do* the things he had once enjoyed. The biggest kill he had had since becoming an amphibian happened to be a rather large grasshopper that had bounced by his depressing resting place.  
  
Who knew this planet had such big insects? It had been even bigger than the fish thing he had devoured last week.  
  
He was getting off track again. He was beginning to find that happened increasingly often now. His mind wandered to the oddest subjects when he was trying to come up with a plan to avenge his current predicament. It was a nuisance. He hoped it wasn't because he was slowly becoming a frog, like the body he was stuck in.  
  
He refused to just let himself fade away into the background. Damn it, he would not let that pathetic fool forget about what he had done to him! That stupid, soft Saiyajin would not forget the torture he had wrought upon him!  
  
He *would* have his revenge!  
  
CRASH!  
  
"Oh, no. Papa is gonna kill me!!!"  
  
If a frog could growl, Ginyu would have. It wasn't enough that he had been tricked into switching bodies with a frog. It wasn't enough that he was forced to live on this pathetically peaceful planet. It wasn't enough that frogs apparently couldn't defend themselves with martial arts – their legs just weren't made for that sort of movement. And it certainly wasn't enough that frogs also couldn't commit suicide – damn survival instincts.  
  
No, none of that was enough torture apparently, not when he had to *live* on the same property as that stupid blue-haired woman he had duped, that stupid Vejiita – although why the hell the arrogant prince had decided to *settle* on this planet was beyond his understanding – and some stupid kids!  
  
He *hated* children. He hated *all* children. And he – as a frog – was forced to live near two of the most destructive, loud, disrespectful brats he had ever encountered in his entire lifetime. Or lifetimes, if one counted switching bodies.  
  
Someone should do the damn universe a favor and blast those damn horrors out of existence. He had actually found himself *pitying* the poor kids' parents who had to deal with *those* two!  
  
Admittedly, he had never seen the ingrates, only heard them and had various objects tossed into his pond from their rough playing. Just as he hadn't seen the blue-haired wench since the dragon was called, however many years ago that was. Time seemed different when one was stuck as a frog. He also hadn't seen Vejiita, but he had heard the Saiyajin's voice a few odd times, which was why he assumed the Saiyajin was living among these pathetic weaklings.  
  
And he would always remember that deep baritone. It was partly *his* fault for the situation he was in! Vejiita and the one that called himself Son Goku, although Ginyu was certain that wasn't his real name. It was not a Saiyajin name.  
  
It didn't matter, in any case. Those style-less losers would get what was coming to them!  
  
As soon as he figured out how.  
  
The little green frog lifted his head from its spot on his tiny front feet, sniffing the air slightly. He was getting hungry. Again.  
  
How much did frogs usually eat anyway? He found that no sooner had he finished a meal that he would lie down, and what seemed like minutes later be ravenous again.  
  
Maybe he was just losing track of time.  
  
Who the hell knew?  
  
He attempted a shrug, but it didn't feel right. He still wasn't fully used to the lack of expression his now-permanent body had. It was just one more reason to hate those damn Saiyajin.  
  
"Goten! Come back here!"  
  
The former Captain of the Ginyu force blinked at the proximity of the voice, a bit surprised as no one approached his pond in a very long while.  
  
"Nah! You have to catch me first, Trunks!" the other child retorted back in the high-pitched voice most kids seemed to have. The kind of voice that made the Ginyu-frog grind his teeth. If he had teeth, anyway.  
  
Feeling that perhaps he had better hide – how humiliating! – Ginyu hopped off his mossy log and into a nearby wall of pond grass.   
  
"Goten! You know I can catch you anytime I want! I'm faster than you are!"  
  
"Only because your papa taught you to fly!"  
  
Ginyu blinked from his spot. Flying was one of the simplest tricks a warrior learned, and one of the first. Then again, that woman he had met on Namek couldn't fight or fly. Maybe that was normal for the species on this planet.  
  
"Nuh-uh! It's because I'm better!"  
  
"Are not!"  
  
"Are too!"  
  
"Are NOT!!!"  
  
Ginyu winced, covering his head with his tiny webbed feet. Kami, how he hated kids… He hoped they would just go away.  
  
"Goten, look! There's water over here!"  
  
Oh, shit.  
  
They found his pond. Just great. Now they knew it was here, meaning he might be forced to endure their loud voices, their stupid pranks, their thunderous splashing-  
  
Ginyu's head snapped up. 'They'll scare my food away!'  
  
Now, where had *that* come from?  
  
"Trunks, Mama will be mad if I come home wet…"  
  
"Oh, stop whining, Goten. We can dry off in seconds," the other boy replied, sounding as if he were almost on top of the frog's hiding spot. So close in fact, Ginyu shrunk from the voice, trying to fight the sudden urge to hop the hell away from there.  
  
"We can?"  
  
"Yes, stupid."  
  
"I'm not stupid!"  
  
"Shut up, Goten. Look!"  
  
Ginyu peeked his head out just enough to see the two children. He actually had to blink several times at the sight of the young dark-haired boy. He was the spitting image of the Saiyajin who caused him such trouble! The one… who had defeated him! This must be his son. Another son, he guessed, as he knew of the one called Gohan.  
  
Goten.  
  
Naming schemes, he should have realized earlier. His mind must really be going. He *had* to find a way to get out of this body!  
  
The frog then turned his gaze to the other boy, blinking a bit at the funny-colored hair. How often could one see purple hair on a boy anyway? The child wouldn't have lasted two seconds in Furiza's army with looks like that. He would have probably been abducted by the first man he had –  
  
"What is that?" the dark-haired spawn of Son Goku asked, peering down into the pond from the soft bank.  
  
The lavender-haired boy huffed in annoyance. "Don't you know anything? It's a mudpuppy!"  
  
"A what?"  
  
Ginyu blinked, and then rolled his little frog eyes slightly. They had found that little slimy creature that kept giving him gooey eyes lately. It was even uglier than he was.  
  
"Mudpuppy! It's like a walking fish!" The purple-haired boy paused. "But they're actually a type of salamander that lives in the water all the time."  
  
The Son Goku-look-alike just blinked at the other child in confusion.  
  
"Never mind, Goten," the boy said with an annoyed sigh, peeking at the creature. "I wonder what it's doing here. They don't usually live in ponds this small…"  
  
"Why are they called mudpuppies?" Goten asked, scratching the back of his head, and Ginyu was hit with the sudden image of an older version doing just that.  
  
He really wished he could growl.  
  
"No idea. Mama didn't explain that part to me yet."  
  
"Oh…"  
  
Ginyu continued to watch the boys poke at the ugly creature until he decided they were being harmless – for now, anyway – and moved away from them, hopping slowly towards the other side of the pond.  
  
"What are you two doing?" a very familiar voice sounded, stopping Ginyu in mid-hop.  
  
That voice!  
  
"Nothing, Papa!"  
  
If he hadn't been surprised by the sudden appearance of one of his hated enemies, he was now doubly surprised to hear one of those brats call him 'Papa' of all things!  
  
Vejiita… a papa?  
  
It was impossible!  
  
"Do not lie, boy," Vejiita growled.  
  
Ginyu hopped back to his previous hiding spot and peeked out just enough to see that sure enough, the small Saiyajin no Ouji was standing there…  
  
…Wearing something that wasn't warrior-like. Some sort of blue pants and a loose, short-sleeved shirt.  
  
He wasn't in blue spandex.  
  
Ginyu absently wondered if perhaps frogs could have heart attacks.  
  
The lavender-haired boy shook his head. "I'm not lying, Papa! We were only looking at a mudpuppy, so that is nothing!"  
  
Ginyu made a soft choked croak. Vejiita's son was the one with lavender hair! He would have believed the other boy – despite looking exactly like Son Goku – was his son before the purple-haired one! Vejiita had a son with girl hair!  
  
It was actually kind of funny.  
  
Okay, more than funny.  
  
It was bloody hilarious!  
  
If Furiza could see him now, he would laugh himself into convulsions at the *idea* of Vejiita having a 'beautiful' son – or any son at all! It was simply… glorious. Oh, how disappointed Vejiita must be to even look upon this child. Ginyu was beginning to wonder who the girl was that Vejiita had tricked into siring a child with him. And why the hell hadn't the Saiyajin chosen more carefully? Maybe this girl had been all he could find…  
  
After all, Vejiita was definitely lacking in both looks and style. He hadn't been seen with anyone of the opposite sex during the Saiyajin's service to Furiza. Outside of the ship whores, of course. Ginyu, on the other hand, had had a string of females on every planet he visited.  
  
He had been very handsome, after all. And the fact that he had been one of Furiza's strongest warriors hadn't hurt either.  
  
The former captain sighed wistfully. He missed those days when he had been fighting for the glory of Furiza. When his name was spoken with fear and awe, and some jealousy.  
  
It just wasn't fair.  
  
Vejiita let out a soft snort, his arms crossed over his chest. At least that much had stayed the same. Otherwise, Ginyu might have thought he was in some sort of distorted parallel universe. "Boy, it is almost time for dinner. Your mother would screech if she saw the mud on your clothes. Go home and change."  
  
Trunks blinked, frowning slightly. "She doesn't yell when I get grease on them when I work with her. Why would she yell about pond mud?"  
  
"Because your mother doesn't have to make sense. Get home, boy. Kakarotto's kid as well."  
  
Who the hell was 'Kakarotto'? It was a Saiyajin name, but he hadn't heard it before. Wait! That was the name Vejiita had called that soft Saiyajin warrior he had fought on Namek. He had forgotten…  
  
"Trunks, look! A frog!"  
  
Ginyu jumped, startled nearly out of his slimy skin at the closeness of that shrill voice. He turned his head warily to the side, meeting the dark gaze of the one called Goten.  
  
And the kid was staring right at him.  
  
He gulped.  
  
"What's so great about a frog? They're everywhere, Goten," Vejiita's son retorted uninterested.  
  
Ginyu looked passed the young child crouched beside him, eyes widening slightly at the sight of a pair of rather large walking shoes that couldn't have belonged to either child. His gaze slowly traveled up a pair of legs, only to meet the cold hard gaze of the Saiyajin no Ouji himself.  
  
Their eyes locked, and to the frog's horror, the side of Vejiita's mouth twitched upwards in a remarkable facsimile of his familiar smirk.  
  
The former captain had a bad feeling about this…  
  
"Well, well… Look what we have here," the arrogant prince began, his smirk widening. "I cannot believe he is still alive."  
  
"Papa?" Trunks asked, standing up beside Vejiita, looking at his father as if he had lost his mind.  
  
"I think your mother would find this… humorous," Vejiita said, walking towards the young son of Son Goku and the fear-paralyzed frog.  
  
"Why would Buruma-san find a frog funny, Vejiita-san?" Goten asked, blinking up at the small Saiyajin.   
  
Vejiita chuckled, suddenly snapping his hand out and capturing the little amphibian. "Because this is not just a frog," he stated, turning away from the pond. "Get your asses home before I decide to extend training this evening."  
  
Captain Ginyu hung limply in Vejiita's hand, his head bowed. He wasn't sure what Vejiita was planning, but he was suddenly very… nervous. Not scared, of course, even as a frog, the great Captain Ginyu feared nothing.  
  
He hoped Vejiita didn't have a taste for frog legs, though…  
  
~~~  
  
"Mama!!! Look what Papa brought home!" the lavender-haired brat fairly screeched the moment they stepped inside the house from the patio door that led into the dining room. Vejiita had ushered the two kids home, following a few steps behind them, and continued to hold Ginyu-frog in a good grip as he smirked.  
  
It was frightening, Ginyu had to admit. The last time Vejiita had come across him, that softhearted dipshit had saved his life as loath as he was to admit it. Vejiita had *no* mercy for anyone. None of Furiza's warriors did. If they started out soft, they either died… Or it was beaten from them with a ferociousness that made even Ginyu pale. He didn't feel for the unfortunate bastards of course, but it was still a bit unnerving to watch such unbridled torture being inflicted.  
  
Ginyu had simply been glad he didn't have a heart to beat out of him, and was too powerful for anyone but Furiza to handle if he had.  
  
And once again, he caught his mind wandering.  
  
He had to get out of this body! And damn soon.  
  
"What, Trunks, honey?" an eerily familiar feminine voice answered from the other room, followed moments later by a woman entering the room.  
  
A blue-haired woman.  
  
*The* blue-haired woman he had duped into switching bodies with! He would know that body, that face, anywhere!  
  
God, it had been horrifying being in such a hideous, uncoordinated, *weak* body!  
  
"A frog," Vejiita's deep baritone replied, holding up the tiny, amphibious body, shaking it slightly for either emphasis or to rattle the poor frog's brain…  
  
Ginyu suspected the later.  
  
The blue-haired woman shrieked, jumping backwards automatically. Her blue eyes were wide. "Get it *out*, Vejiita! Idiot, you know damned well I don't like frogs! Or snakes, or anything slimy, but frogs *especially*!!! Get it out, NOW!"  
  
Ginyu, as well as Vejiita and the two half-Saiyajin brats, winced at her shrill, irritating voice. It was enough to make his ears bleed, Ginyu suspected.  
  
If he had actual ears, of course… it probably would cause internal bleeding of the eardrums, though. Or whatever frogs had. Hell, he didn't know frog anatomy. When was he supposed to have taken the Namekian Amphibian Anatomy 101 course? In between planet purges?  
  
Either way, it *hurt*.  
  
"Stop that!" Vejiita snapped irritably, giving the woman a good glare.  
  
"I'll stop it when I'm good and ready to, Vejiita! Get that *thing* out of my house!"  
  
Great, now he was downgraded to a thing. Wonderful.  
  
He suddenly remembered why he hated that woman. She talked too damned much.  
  
"Mama, it's just a frog. They don't even have teeth!" the pretty child put in.  
  
"Yeah!" Son Goku's brat agreed dumbly.  
  
Ginyu's life just kept getting better and better.  
  
"I don't *care*!" she screeched again, causing another round of winces from the males.  
  
"Buruma, shut *UP*!" Vejiita finally roared, causing the entire group to blink at him in shock, and a bit of fear.  
  
Ginyu was glad that some things didn't change.  
  
"Don't you tell me to shut up!" the woman called Buruma – Ginyu recognized the name, finally; it seemed he had forgotten that as well – yelled back into the silence of the room.  
  
Guess one person wasn't scared of the Saiyajin. What did that girl have, a death wish? Vejiita didn't spare women. He killed completely indiscriminately. Why would she want to risk his wrath?  
  
…Did that purple-haired freak boy call her 'Mama'?  
  
And he called Vejiita… 'Papa'…  
  
That meant… Vejiita sired a child on the blue-haired bitch!  
  
Ginyu suddenly wanted to achieve complete obliviousness of fainting…  
  
Too bad he didn't have that luxury.  
  
Vejiita, the perpetual grumpy ass, knocked up the worst bitch Ginyu had ever come across. It was enough to make his hair stand on end.  
  
If he had hair.  
  
Vejiita chuckled much to the frog's dismay. "I will tell you to shut up any time I wish, Onna." He then shook the tiny frog again, holding it out in front of him. "I did not bring in some slimy creature just to make you screech. I would have thought you had some brains in that head of yours to recognize it."  
  
Despite the cruel words, Ginyu was surprised to find the bitch ignored them and peered closely – if disgustedly – at him, her eyes narrowing. He supposed that living with Vejiita had made her more inclined to ignore insults.  
  
Otherwise, they would probably kill each other. It was mind boggling, the frog decided worriedly as he cringed under the blue-haired woman's scrutiny. Although he had not given any thought to Vejiita having any sort of lover, he would have bet his best armor *and* his stash of sweets that Vejiita's 'chosen' woman – or man – would be very subservient. Not… loud, obnoxious, and bossy…  
  
Vejiita had *hated* being ordered about, and he had *willingly* chosen to couple and have children with the bossiest woman he had ever seen in his life.  
  
Both boys simply blinked with identical confused expressions on their faces. Ginyu absently wondered what had it taken to persuade Vejiita to let his royal son associate with another child, one of no noble upbringing. Ginyu knew that Furiza had made sure that every noble Saiyajin had been present on Vejiita-sei when he had destroyed it. The nobles were the most powerful, and other than the young prince, Furiza wanted them all dead. The others, he didn't care about, nor did he fear.  
  
Too bad, the frog thought bitterly. In the end, it destroyed both his employer and himself.  
  
Finally, the woman's eyes widened and she gasped. "You!!"  
  
When the woman exclaimed at him, he winced and cowered slightly, secretly ashamed of his fear. But he was a frog, he reminded himself. He was a very small, defenseless, weak little… frog.  
  
His fear was understandable…  
  
Or so he told himself.  
  
He shouldn't be afraid! He was one of the most powerful beings in the universe!  
  
He sighed, desponded. He *used* to be anyway.  
  
Vejiita spoke, startling the frog out of his regretful musings. "Yes, Onna. It's Ginyu."  
  
"Papa? You named the frog?" the young pretty child asked, clearly looking dumbfounded.  
  
"Of course not!" Vejiita snapped, scowling.  
  
"But you said…"  
  
"Shut up, boy. It is a long story, and one I am not in the mood to tell."   
  
Of course he wasn't, Ginyu reflected. It was a story filled with the Saiyajin's failures. And one thing he did remember clearly was that Vejiita hated being reminded he was not perfect.  
  
"I didn't think he was still alive," the blue-haired woman commented, crossing her arms over her chest. "It's been years, Vejiita. That's a long time for a frog to live."  
  
The Prince shrugged. "It's a Namekian frog, who the fuck knows how long they live."  
  
"Vejiita! Watch your mouth!" the woman screamed, causing the Saiyajin and one little frog to cringe again. It would have been humorous to hear the mighty Vejiita being scolded for cursing… if his tiny ears hadn't hurt so much.  
  
Both children giggled in the way of children when they heard or saw something forbidden to them.  
  
'I hate kids.'  
  
"Trunks," Vejiita suddenly said with an odd - and worrisome to Ginyu - tone in his voice. "How would you like an… experiment?"  
  
Both boys and the woman looked at him incongruously.  
  
Ginyu attempted a small whimper, but of course, it didn't come out as more than a pathetic croak. Gods, how he hated this body! He would do *anything* to have any sort of functioning humanoid form! He wanted to talk! To fight! To eat anything that didn't wiggle!  
  
Damn it!  
  
"An experiment?" the lavender-haired child asked, a suspicious lilt in his voice. At least the child knew what his father was like…  
  
Although, *why* Vejiita had stuck around to actually… *care* for his children confounded the little amphibian. The Vejiita he knew wouldn't stick around after the moment of passion. If that was what it was, of course. For all he knew, Vejiita was attempting to populate this pathetically peaceful mudball with Saiyajin blood in an effort to recreate a substitute for Vejiita-sei.  
  
It was a possibility, although one Ginyu doubted. He wouldn't have stuck around, and he would have fornicated with any fertile female available on the planet. The fact that he seemed to be… loyal to the woman, enough to 'chastise' the boy and endure the loud bitch's scolds was enough to convince Ginyu that Vejiita had made a permanent coupling.  
  
"Yes, boy," the irritable Saiyajin growled. "You could… subject this *thing* to anything you wanted. After all, he is not a Chikyuu-jin frog, but a Namek-jin one. You and your ridiculous mother love to mess with the unknown, do you not?" He then smirked down at the frog who cringed. "You could even make it very painful…"  
  
"Vejiita, don't you think that's a bit… cruel? He may have been an enemy, and he *did* take over my body, but he's harmless now… And I think it's punishment enough that he's living life as a frog."  
  
If only she knew!  
  
The Prince scowled. "Onna, you have no sense of revenge!" he snapped furiously.  
  
To the frog's surprise, the woman was not only not afraid, she smiled. "Sure I do, Vejiita. I just don't go in for torture."  
  
The ornery Saiyajin snarled, walking over to the kitchen cupboards and dug around absently with his free hand until he found a large bowl. Ginyu was suddenly worried about what the cruel warrior was intending…  
  
To his shock – and dismay – the Saiyajin simply dropped him into the bowl, and snap a lid on it. He couldn't hear much except muffled voices through the plastic, so he wasn't privy to the plans on what to do with his important person… er, frog body.  
  
Whatever it was, he was handed – rather roughly he thought – to one of the children, the young son of Vejiita from the distorted blur of purple he saw through the not-so-clear plastic. He was then carried bouncingly through their dwelling to wherever they decided to take him.  
  
He didn't like it on bit. He had very limited experience with children, but he had been a young boy once, a *long* while ago, and he remembered it quite vividly. He remembered what he had done to his various 'pets' that his father had allowed him to keep.  
  
They hadn't been much more than smears after he had finished with them.  
  
He shuddered.  
  
How he wished he were back in his previous body! Then he could fix them good! He could destroy the brats for the sole reason of being too loud, and then exact his revenge on the Saiyajin no Ouji, his damned loud mate, and the dense warrior who had had the gall to *trap* him in this body.  
  
He sighed despairingly. No matter how much he wished it, he knew it wasn't likely to happen. He didn't even know where his body had disappeared to. And even if he did, he needed to *speak* to make the change work…  
  
But if only… if only he could manage it! He could subvert this entire planet! He could rule it, then when that was done, he could conquer more planets, and more and more, until he was as powerful a ruler as Furiza had been!  
  
And with his body-changing technique, he could take over any opposition that was too powerful for him… He would have more of an advantage than Furiza had had…  
  
He would make a glorious emperor…  
  
If only he had a way to get out of this frog's body!!  
  
~~~  
  
AN: Yes, this is a brand new fic by SJ! Everyone can have a heart attack now. I *am* still writing! I *am* still posting. And I am alive!!  
  
Couple things. One, this fic will NOT be a lemon. Why? Because unless Captain Ginyu is a voyeur, we won't see what's behind the bedroom. And if Frog-boy IS a voyeur, I don't wanna know. *shudder*  
  
Will it all be in the frog's POV? No, but the majority of the fic, yes. Only slight scenes will be from others. Very minor.  
  
Will there be more chapters? Yes, indeed-y do, there will!   
  
And some of you older readers of mine might remember a time when I did plugs. Yep, well, I *will* start doing them again, WHEN I catch up on things and actually start reading again. ^_^  
  
Lovies! 


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